


Drink Me

by Chocchi



Category: Free!
Genre: Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-25
Updated: 2014-08-25
Packaged: 2018-02-14 14:18:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2194956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chocchi/pseuds/Chocchi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You (23:51pm): Even for you this is a lot of typos. Are you okay?<br/>Nagisa (23:51pm): noooo oo gou=kun i TOLD u im lnoelyy<br/>You (23:52pm): I’m coming over. You’re at Haruka-senpai’s house, right?<br/>Nagisa (23:52pm): yea :-D<br/>Nagisa (23:53pm): yaaaaay gou0kun is goign to keep mwe companuy!!!<br/>You (23:54pm): Just stay where you are, okay?</p><p>Wherein Nagisa brought the drinks and Kou is left to bring the common sense. And painkillers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drink Me

**Author's Note:**

> i have vague memories of starting this when my friend scrods (scrods on AO3) posted something asking for headcanons on what the characters in free! would be like when drunk. so she gets part of the credit, or maybe the blame, however you choose to look at it!  
> many thanks to scrods and yas (nagito on AO3) for looking this over for me! and as always, comments and concrit would be greatly appreciated!

**Nagisa (23:41pm):** gouuuuuuuu-kjun

 **Nagisa (23:41pm):** kunnn

 **Nagisa (23:41pm):** gou-kun takl to me imn lonleyyyyy

 **You (23:43pm):** It’s KOU, and I’m trying to sleep right now, Nagisa-kun.

 **Nagisa (23:44pm):** but gou-kuynnnnnnnmnn

 **You (23:45pm):** How are you lonely? Aren’t you with the rest of the team? I thought you guys were having a party or something.

 **Nagisa (23:46pm):** theyrw borinfg :)

 **Nagisa (23:46pm):** *:(

 **You (23:47pm):** I thought you would never get bored of harassing everybody.

 **Nagisa (23:48pm):** im noy bored pf then im borwd becuz thetre slepinhh

 **You (23:49pm):** What?

 **Nagisa (23:50pm):** theure slwepinnng

 **You (23:51pm):** Even for you this is a lot of typos. Are you okay?

 **Nagisa (23:51pm):** noooo oo gou=kun i TOLD u im lnoelyy

 **You (23:52pm):** I’m coming over. You’re at Haruka-senpai’s house, right?

 **Nagisa (23:52pm):** yea :-D

 **Nagisa (23:53pm):** yaaaaay gou0kun is goign to keep mwe companuy!!!

 **You (23:54pm):** Just stay where you are, okay?

 

Kou stares at the scene in front of her in horror.

“Nagisa-kun,” she finally says, “What did you _do?_ ”

“How’d y’know ‘s me?” Nagisa slurs.

Kou just _looks_ at him.

“Ah, well,” Nagisa grins, brightly, and leans heavily against her shoulder. “My sisters had, y’know. Some _stuff_. So I brought it t’share. Tha’s all.”

 _That’s all?_ Kou mouths to herself, in disbelief. Nagisa attempts to sling an arm around her shoulders, and she shakes him off to step carefully over some wayward pillows and soda cans. Rei is-- well, he’s either dozing or wallowing in inebriated misery, but whichever it is, he’s doing it on Haruka’s couch, and there’s a little crease in his brow. Kou is tempted to smooth it away.

“Rei-kun?” she whispers, nudging him. Rei makes a little grumbling noise and hides his face in the cushions. “...Is he okay?”

“Oh, he’s fine!” Nagisa says, happily. “Y’should’ve heard him earlier, Gou-kun, he kept tryin’ to talk about math ‘n’ science but he couldn’t pr’nounce any of the words right, it was hilaru-- hilara-- it was really funny.”

Nagisa tries to drape himself over her back this time. Kou elbows him in the gut, and he staggers back with a whimper.

“Where are Haruka-senpai and Makoto-senpai?”

“I’unno,” Nagisa says. He looks at her with big, sad eyes, clutching his gut. “Mako-chan was tired ‘n’ they wen’ t’ Haru-chan’s room.”

Kou silently prays that _tired_ doesn’t mean _blackout drunk,_ and steps over some more pillows, cans, and food wrappers on her way to Haruka’s room. Nagisa trails behind her, apparently more inclined to trip into walls and step on the wrappers.

“Which room is Haruka-senpai’s?”

“All f’them!”

Laughing, Nagisa stumbles against Kou’s side again, and slips his arm through hers. Kou lets him, with a long-suffering sigh-- honestly, he’s not going to give up any time soon, it’s less effort to indulge him-- and uses her free hand to gently open the nearest door _just_ enough to see inside.

The bathroom. She closes it again.

“Haru-chan’s funny when he’s drunk too,” Nagisa tells her, non-sequitur. “He’s all cuddly, an’ he kept nuzzling up to Mako-chan. I think Mako-chan liked it a _lot_.”

“They’re going to kill you in the morning,” Kou sighs, scrubbing at her eyes. That’s just if she doesn’t kill him first-- or Rin, when he finds out Nagisa had her walking across town alone in the middle of the night.

“Nooo,” Nagisa protests. “They love me! They won’ kill me.”

Kou makes a doubtful noise, and pries open another door. An empty bedroom-- Haruka’s parents’ room, maybe?

“Does Gou-kun love me too?” Nagisa asks, in what Kou is sure he _thinks_ is a sly tone.

“Not if you keep calling me that,” she mutters, grumpily, towing him down the hallway with her as she moves on.

“Awww,” Nagisa whines, clutching more tightly at her arm. “But _I_ love _you_ , Gou-kun.”

“You are so drunk,” Kou huffs, but she pats his head affectionately.

“I do,” Nagisa insists.

“I can’t believe I put up with you,” Kou says, more to herself than him. The next door is just a hall closet. “I should have made Onii-chan come, instead.”

Nagisa brightens. “I love Rin-chan, too!”

“I know,” Kou says. She opens the last door as quietly as possible, and sticks her head inside. Then she stares. “Haruka-s--?”

“Shhh,” Haruka says. He presses his finger to his lips and everything. “Don’t wake Makoto.”

He’s leaning back against the headboard, cheeks rosy and hair tousled, and somehow the soft smile on his face is disorienting Kou more than the fact that Makoto is using his lap as a pillow.

Makoto mumbles something, too quiet and slurred for Kou to understand, and burrows his face into Haruka’s side.

“I already took pictures,” Nagisa tells Kou, proudly.

Kou considers her upperclassmen for a moment longer before she says, “Forward them to me.”

 

She spends another thirty minutes making sure all of the boys drink a glass of water before they pass out for good for the night-- although, really, it’s morning at this point-- and only has to elbow Nagisa another three times before she manages to wrestle him down onto the couch with Rei. Then she claims Haruka’s parents’ bedroom as her own for the night, texts her mother to make sure she won’t worry, and goes to sleep content with the knowledge that the boys will be making _this_ one up to her for _months_.

Or Nagisa will, at any rate.

 

Rin shows up at nine the next morning. Kou had been sleeping before he started pounding on the door, and she loves her brother, she really does, but she kind of wants to punch him in the face right now.

“Mom said you were here,” he says, squinting at her suspiciously. “What were you thinking, spending the night with a bunch of teenage guys? What if--”

Kou doesn’t even say anything at first, just stares at him in disbelief. “Nobody did anything. I just made them drink some water and go to sleep.”

“Drink some water and go to sleep?” Rin repeats. “What, were they drunk?”

“If you kill Nagisa-kun for me,” Kou says, “I _might_ forgive you for waking me up.”

Rin does not kill Nagisa, but he does loudly and mercilessly wake him up. While Nagisa is clutching his head and whimpering, and Rin is roughly shaking Rei awake, Kou sneaks back down the hallway to rouse Makoto and Haruka.

Makoto is already awake.

“Good morning,” he murmurs, from the bed.

“Good morning,” Kou says, softly, slipping inside and shutting the door behind her. “How’s your head?”

“Horrible,” Makoto says, smiling wryly. Kou never would have guessed it, looking at him. If anything, he just looks a little tired. Makoto can keep grinning through almost anything, she supposes.

“Tell me where Haruka-senpai keeps the ibuprofen, and I’ll bring you some,” she says. Makoto directs her to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, and she fetches it along with two cups of water. Passing a cup and a tablet to Makoto, she asks, hesitantly, “How long have you been awake?”

“A while,” Makoto admits. He swallows the pill and drains the cup. “I just can’t bring myself to wake Haru.”

Kou studies him. Haruka is curled up against Makoto’s side, one arm thrown haphazardly over his waist, and with an expression of complete relaxation. Kou tries to imagine waking him from this to a hangover, and suffers immediate pre-emptive guilt.

“Understandable,” she tells Makoto. “Just, um-- Rin is kind of here?”

Makoto winces.

“I’ll tell him you’re still sleeping,” Kou offers, hastily.

“No, no,” Makoto sighs, rubbing a hand through his hair. “He’d just come to wake us up. Just-- give me a minute? I’ll deal with Haru.”

“Okay,” Kou says. She leaves the second ibuprofen tablet and cup of water on Haruka’s bedside table.

“Thanks, Gou-chan,” Makoto says, giving her a tired smile. “You’re great.”

“Tell me I can kill Nagisa-kun?” she tries.

He makes a face. “I’ll think about it. I’m sorry he made you come over here in the middle of the night.”

“Me too,” Kou says, lips curling up into a little smile when Makoto laughs, quick and involuntary. “I’ll leave you to it, then?”

“Alright,” Makoto agrees. Kou glances over her shoulder on the way out the door to see him trying to pry Haruka’s arm off his waist. She snorts, and shuts the door behind herself as quietly as she can.

When she gets to the kitchen, Rin is scowling at the contents of Haruka’s refrigerator like it’s personally offending him.

“All he has in here are milk, eggs, fish and some fruit,” he says, yanking out the carton of eggs. “How is he _alive?_ ”

“Makoto-senpai?” Kou suggests.

“Probably,” Rin grumbles. He puts the carton on the counter and starts opening cupboards. “Go yell at Nagisa some more, will you?”

Kou goes to the living room with every intention of doing so, but Nagisa happens to be huddled up against Rei’s side, and while she might not care about how small and pathetic _Nagisa_ looks, it’s not _really_ Rei’s fault that he can’t help himself from letting Nagisa lead him to bad decisions, and he seems to be suffering enough already.

“Morning,” he mumbles.

“Morning,” Kou whispers. “Can’t find your glasses?”

Rei makes a miserable noise. Kou turns to survey the wreckage of Haruka’s living room.

“On top of the TV,” Nagisa says.

“I don’t even want to know,” Kou says, going to fetch them. “Nagisa, honestly, what were you thinking?”

Nagisa makes a pitiful whining noise, muffled against Rei’s shoulder. “It was s’pposed to be _fun_.”

“Well, maybe in the future have your alcoholic fun in more moderation,” Kou sighs. She passes Rei’s glasses back to him. “Rei-kun, would you like some painkillers?”

“ _Please_ ,” Rei says, almost desperately, so Kou leaves him with a sympathetic pat on the shoulder and wanders back to find the ibuprofen again.

She runs into Haruka as he’s on his way out of the bathroom. He looks _awful_ , and Kou wonders just how bad Makoto felt about waking him up. _Kou_ feels bad, and she’s been nothing but helpful.

“Do you want first dibs on beating up Nagisa-kun?” she asks, as quietly as she can.

“You can have him,” Haruka says. How generous of him.

“Maybe Rei-kun will hold him back for me while I punch him,” Kou says, thoughtfully. Haruka snorts, then immediately winces. Kou pats his arm awkwardly. “Oniichan is making breakfast, if you want some?”

Haruka’s expression twists in a way that suggests that food is not at the top of his list of priorities at this precise moment, but Makoto chooses that moment to slip out of Haruka’s bedroom, and says, firmly, “That sounds great. Thanks, Gou-chan.”

Then he takes Haruka by the arm and half-leads, half-drags him down the hall. Haruka gives the bedroom a longing look over his shoulder. Kou suspects Makoto’s near future will involve many attempts to convince him that mid-day naps are a good idea.

She finally grabs the ibuprofen for Rei-- she can’t find another cup for him, but the kitchen, she figures, will provide just fine. Sure enough, when she gets back to the living room, Rei is already nursing a tall glass of water from where he’s slumped over Haruka’s table. He gives her a tiny smile of thanks as he takes the pill. Kou just nods back magnanimously, and surveys the room again. Nagisa is stumbling around, picking up the wrappers and cans that litter the floor, while Haruka and Makoto have overtaken the spot on the sofa where Rei and Nagisa were curled up before. Haruka looks about as miserable as Rei did before, but Makoto’s letting him use his abs as a pillow, so Kou’s not really sure how sorry she feels for him. Especially since Makoto appears to be trying to discreetly pet his hair.

Rin is in the kitchen, clattering around and grumbling to himself, but that’s par for the course. Kou sidles up to him.

“Eggs,” he tells her.

“Yes,” she agrees. They do indeed appear to be eggs, on their way to being scrambled. “Haruka-senpai had enough eggs to feed all of us?”

Rin shrugs, and makes a vague gesture at the egg carton, which is now empty.

“Huh,” Kou says. “Why is Nagisa-kun tidying up?”

“I told him to,” Rin says, almost serenely. Kou decides she doesn’t want to know what kind of threats were involved. “Make yourself useful and cut up some fruit, would you?”

“Don’t talk to me about _useful_ ,” says Kou, even as she starts rooting around in the fridge. “I’m the one who had to put up with them while they were still drunk.”

Rin gets a pinched expression, brows furrowing and lips curling down. “But you didn’t drink anything yourself? I’m not objecting, just checking--”

“I-- no, I wasn’t even here while they were actually drinking? I, uh,” she winces at the rapidly darkening expression on Rin’s face. “I didn’t come over until Nagisa-kun started drunk-texting me, I got worried about them and--”

“You came over here in the middle of the night?” Rin hisses, frantically.

“I was _worried!_ ” Kou insists, shrilly. “Nagisa was sending me weird texts, and I thought something was--”

“You _walked across town_ in the middle of the night, in the _dark_ , _alone_ because Nagisa sent you some weird texts?” Rin’s voice is steadily getting louder. “What the _hell!_ ”

Kou bristles. “I can take care of myself! I had my keys in my hand the whole time!”

“You could have been _assaulted!_ Did you even tell Mom before you left?”

“No, I-- hey, pay attention to the eggs--”

“Did you tell _anyone?!_ ”

“I-- I told Nagisa-kun,” Kou stammers. Rin throws his hands up in disgust.

“Oh, right, the _drunk guy_ who was sending you _weird texts_ , he’d be prepared to come to your rescue!”

“ _Hey_ ,” Nagisa says, staggering into the kitchen with an armful of empty soda cans. “I’ll have you know I was eagerly awaiting Gou-kun’s arrival, and I totally would have gone to find her if she hadn’t come soon, even if I _was_ drunk!”

“Guys,” Makoto calls, from the living room, sounding resigned.

“And what do you mean, come to my rescue?” Kou says, nearly shouting. “Nobody needed to come to my rescue! I told you, I had my keys in my hand the entire time and I stayed on well-lit streets and _I can take care of myself!_ ”

“Yeah, Rin-chan, Gou-kun is--”

“Well, excuse me for--”

“Strong, she can--”

”Worrying about my _little sister--_ ”

“I’m not a _baby--!_ ”

“GUYS,” Makoto shouts. Kou and Rin freeze, toe-to-toe, breathing hard and nearly snarling at each other. Nagisa takes the opportunity to step around them and dump his cans into Haruka’s recycling container. “Are you really sure this can’t wait until a time when loud noises don’t make everyone else want to throw up?”

Rin gives Kou an angry look and prods sullenly at the scrambled eggs, which are probably burnt at the bottom at this point. Kou turns on her heel and lets cupboard doors slam open and closed on her quest to find a cutting board.

“I hope everyone likes strawberries and melon,” she gets out, through gritted teeth.

In the living room, Haruka mumbles something Kou can’t quite make out, and Makoto laughs tiredly in response. “Be nice, Haru.”

“Haruka wouldn’t know nice if it bit him in the ass,” Rin says, snippily.

“Unlike _you?_ ” Haruka snaps back.

“ _Guys_ ,” Makoto sighs, long-sufferingly. Kou smiles a little in spite of herself, and finally finds Haruka’s cutting boards.

“He started it,” Haru mutters.

“Uh-huh,” Makoto says, skeptically, but he sounds fond.

“Did the eggs come out okay?” Kou asks Rin, reaching past him for a knife.

“Just _fine_ ,” Rin huffs. Kou squints at them. He appears to be trying to scrape the burnt parts away from the rest of it. “Hey, focus on what you’re doing, you have a knife!”

“But I’m not _doing_ anything with the knife,” Kou says. She stabs into the melon a little more viciously than is actually necessary.

“I like how the most hostile people here are the ones who aren’t even hungover,” Nagisa says, cheerfully. He drops down next to Rei at the table, leaning easily into his side with no apparent regard for the sheer exasperation on Rei’s face.

“I’ll show _you_ hostile,” Rei mutters, into his glass of water.

Rin swears quietly down at the eggs, as he tries to move all the salvageable parts onto a plate and spills most of them on the stove. The next time the boys get drunk, Kou decides, they can take care of _themselves._


End file.
